(Repost from 2017 after transferring from wix to wordpress)
Football season came to an end this past Sunday. I am absolutely ecstatic that the Pats won. Fuck everyone. We are better than you. Tom Brady is God’s favorite son. End of story.
As happy as I am about this, the fact the football is over is depressing. So in order to keep my sanity I’m going to continuing talking about football. Today we are talking about kickoff. This past season the NFL changed a touchback on kickoff from getting the ball at the 20 yard line to the 25 yard line. The reason for this was to give players an incentive to take more touchbacks in order to prevent injury. What the NFL didn’t foresee was all time great schemers like Bill Belichick refusing to give up such good field position and instead sky kicking to about the five giving guys no choice but to return the ball. Just the NFL be outsmarted by Bill Belichick again. Nothing new here.
But hey NFL I have solved your problems and answered your prayers. Just hear me out. Keep in place that a touchback leads to the ball at the 25 yard line rule, but you need to make an addition to that. Alone it’s dumb and you’re dumb if you like it. Add to the rule that if a kicker makes it between the uprights on kickoff then the other team gets the ball at their own 15 yard line. This way kickers will be swinging for the fences trying to get the better field position and when they miss the ball will still probably be kicked out of the back of the endzone. The NFL will be happy because they would succeed in their quest to all but eliminate kickoff and head coaches will stop fucking around with sky kicks and just have their kickers go big for the uprights. Plus kickers will get to show off their leg power. I guarantee kickers with big time legs like Prater and Tucker would be all in on this rule change.
If you don’t hear from me for a while it’s because the NFL has caught wind of my genius and I’m off to bigger and better things.