Disney+: Where flops will go to live

I first want to preface this with saying not all Disney Plus movies are trash. Actually there are some gems on there. You see Togo? Fucking masterpiece that sheds some light on that god damn fraud Balto. Go watch it. They have the streaming rights for Hamilton which is a guaranteed hit. Not to mention all the Disney channel originals that we forgot existed until we scrolled through Disney + as we waited for a new episode of The Mandalorian to be released. There is some good shit on here, but that will change moving forward.

I recently watched Artemis Fowl as it was released as a Disney + exclusive. I wanted it to be good a I was a fan of the books as a child, but I knew it would be a fucking dumpster fire of a film, and I was right. I will not get into details, because spoilers. But, holy fuck, was it bad. This garbage can on tape had a budget of 125 million dollars and was set for theatrical release. The people over as Disney decided to release it on Disney + instead of making us wait with theaters closed. It gave people a new thing to watch during COVID, which I guess was kind of them.

However, those movie execs knew that this movie sucked. They saw the final cut and knew this thing would not turn a profit. COVID actually saved them, publicly, from the huge flop this thing was going to be at the box office.

This is where my prediction comes into play. Moving forward whenever a movie looks like shit, Disney will pull it from a theatrical release. This will save them the embarrassment of poor box offices performances. They will then dump the film on their subscribers who will appreciate and thank them for the trash, because it is new content and they pay for the service anyway. This turn there mistakes into good press.

So, going forward just remember that if Disney gives us a movie that is direct to Disney +, after having a theatrical release, this is not an altruistic act. The movie sucks and Disney is hiding it somewhere where people will not complain. Honestly, it is a great fucking plan on their part.

Side note: Do not take this article as me hating Disney. I fucking love Disney. I can not wait until corporations can run for president. Disney ha my vote locked up.

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